Tuesday, February 10, 2015

The Boy Next Door Review

If you're reading this review, you already know what I am going to say, right? While I keep an open mind when watching a film, choosing to judge it for myself rather than let the consensus come to a conclusion for me, I can't lie and say I sat down to watch the new movie The Boy Next Door starring Jennifer Lopez expecting it to be good. I wasn't even expecting it to be mediocre. I anticipated nothing more than awful.

Guess what?

It delivered!

This is a truly terrible film, but I must be completely fair and also give it the recognition it deserves: it's all sorts of fun bad. When I watched the recently released Mortdecai, there was no fun to be had. I felt like my soul had been removed from my body and stomped on throughout it's duration, despite it being labeled a "comedy", where as here The Boy Next Door is considered a thriller and yet I laughed out loud a few times during it. It isn't trying for these laughs, or at least I don't think so. They are achieved because the movie is just so atrocious that it's impossible not to crack a smile now and then.

I enjoy television movies released by the Lifetime network, and I'm not afraid to admit it. There's something about kicking your feet up for some relaxation time and witnessing a predictable train wreck of a film about a girl in high school whose friends play a prank on her, a cautionary tale about teenage pregnancy, or the typical abusive husband story that has been done so many times it has managed to make a serious, important topic unfortunately comical. 

Possible titles for these three Lifetime movies:

Betrayal at 16

Far Too Young

No One Said a Word

Therefore, it was impossible for me not to have some fun with The Boy Next Door. I mean, look at the title alone. The Boy Next Door. If that wasn't already used by the people in charge of the production of original films at the Lifetime network, it certainly is crossed off on a list somewhere of potential new ideas, the notebook of some annoyed executive who didn't anticipate an actual theatrical release using it first.

If The Boy Next Door was an attempt at being a serious, thrilling drama, then part of me is baffled about the minds behind it, writer Barbara Curry and director Rob Cohen. I can't imagine anyone watching the finished product and being truly proud of it.

The other part of me, however, is thankful they went ahead with it despite it's awfulness. With all the terrible movies released early in the year, at least I had some fun here.



  1. This is on my list to watch
    Watched The Guest last night it was awful
    Tonight is day 3 or my PTA month Boogie Nights will post a review for that, Hard Eight and a few 2015 films as well as the overview of Kubrick month
    At times I am apathetic and think why do i bother who will read them

    1. I will read them Peter, the problem is I am at work and don't have a chance to actually seek them out, and then at home I just have less time online. Share the posts directly with me and I will absolutely read anything ya got.

      I loved The Guest haha.